


my heart's a ticking clock

by cettevieestbien



Series: help, i've soulmate ficced again, and i can't stop doing it [8]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Gen, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Modern Bucky Barnes, Modern!Bucky/Cap!Steve, Past Character Death, Platonic Female/Female Relationships, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Soulmates, Pre-Slash, Sibling Rivalry, Soulmate-Identifying Timers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 13:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5418251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cettevieestbien/pseuds/cettevieestbien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“He was informed of the situation as ‘there’s a guy in the hospital with your time on a blue, and he’s in on soulmate related conditions, hurt himself watching your interview’. Not a great way to be told, especially for him.” She exhales through her nose. “He’s been kind of out of his mind, waiting for this meeting."</p><p>OR</p><p>Bucky has a blue timer, the color signifying that its a romantic relationship, and so does Captain America. His sister forces him to watch the Captain's first interview and he... well, you could say he reacts badly. Also, everyone has a crush on Steve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	my heart's a ticking clock

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by a poem on tumblr.
> 
> For the siblings ages, it goes: Bucky, 26, Becca, 24, Tyler, 23, Rosie, 20, Jessica and Chris, 17.

Bucky’s got quite a few of these damn timers. Some have gone off already; Natasha-the-spy and Sam-with-wings. He still has others, two more. There’s two on each wrist, and they, like every other timer, were implanted in his skin when he was born.

 

Sam and Nat’s are green - or, well, were, since they’re now the gray that signifies a met ‘mate. The one under Sam’s is orange. Green is generally for platonic soulmates, while blue or red is romantic, and the lucky few who have orange ones say is familial, but that’s not always the case. He can’t tell with his own - it hasn’t gone off yet. He doesn’t know who it belongs to.

 

But that so isn’t the point.

 

The point is, Bucky has a blue timer.

 

* * *

 

When you’re born, your timers start - the oxygen hits it and they start ticking off the seconds. Some could say hours, some could say anywhere from 1 to 100+ years. One person’s said five minutes. One said the person would meet their ‘mate in 112 years. There’s no guessing this stuff.

 

There’s no guessing the color, either. The colors don’t come until the other is born - Bucky was born with two white timers, a green timer and a blue timer.

 

Doctors at the scene will often write down what time the active timers say, and what color they are. Bucky’s did no different - so it’s known, been known since the day he was born, that he would meet his soulmate when he’s 26.

 

But then he turns 26, and nothing happens. It’s not supposed to, his timer doesn’t go off right at 26, but it feels like something should’ve. Bucky feels that so strongly, that he tells his mother, “something is weird about this one.” He tapped his blue. “Something should’ve happened.”

 

She gives him a look, happy but stern. “James, it still has almost three months on there! You have a ways to go, raincloud.” She smiles at him, one black timer replacing his father and twenty years of experience.

 

“I’m not the raincloud here,” he grumbles, looking away to little Rosie, now 20 years old and way too interested in alcohol. “And she’s not allowed to drink!” He says the last part loud enough for her to hear. She flips him off and downs another shot. Ma, at his side, huffs.

 

Bucky narrows his eyes and desperately wants to reprimand her, but he’s stopped before he can take even one step.

 

Becca slides up, smirking the same smirk that always got him in trouble when they were in high school. “Hottie, 3 o’clock. Don’t look!” She whisper shrieks as Bucky’s head snaps around. Their Ma rolls her eyes at them, and moves away, towards their younger siblings.

 

The woman is one of Rosie’s friends from college, with a tight ponytail and a tight pencil skirt, just like Pepper Potts. She’s a business major, if Bucky guesses right. And Bucky always guesses right - it used his job to be observant.

 

“What about her?” Bucky whispers back, turning back towards Becca.

 

“I figure, if she’s trying to get with someone, one of us might get with her. You know Rosie is ace and Tyler is biromantic but only wanting sex, anyway, so that leaves us. What do you think?” Becca is completely serious.

 

Bucky sighs, admiring curves and long eyelashes. He looks back to his sister. “You can take a shot. I’m….” He waits too long to find something to say that she won’t capitalize on.

 

“Waiting?” She sings, throwing her hands up delightedly. “That’s adorable, bro. I’m sure your blue is going to be super grateful that their ‘mate is inexperienced.” She nods sympathetically, so much like their Ma, who’s now dealing with a sullen Jessica and Christopher.

 

He would push her, but it’s his birthday party. He’s 26; he’s a freakin’ adult now. And Becca is 24 - she’s an adult, too, and he taught her well in hand-to-hand. She would deck him, birthday or no. And as much as their younger siblings would love to see that, Bucky isn’t feeling the headache that would cause.

 

So, he, in true adult fashion, flips her off. But he makes sure no one else sees, so Ma won’t be able to give him shit for it.

 

Becca just smiles and slinks off. She gives a two finger wave at him as she walks toward the woman in the living room.

 

Bucky stays by the food table for the rest of the party.

 

* * *

 

On the news a few weeks later, they say Captain America has finally been found and returned to New York, and not in the body bag everyone expected.

 

They say his timers counted all those years - the gray one didn’t, but the blue and orange ones did. They say he’s only got a month and a half left on his blue.

 

They also say his timers are so old, it’s coming out of his skin, which can’t be true. The comics say his skin is impenetrable, so that seems kinda crazy to Bucky, but whatever. He can’t imagine his timers coming out of his skin. God, that sounds awful, nevermind it actually happening.

 

Bucky hasn’t had much physical pain dealt to him in his life, mostly emotional pain. He doesn’t think a timer coming out of his skin, leaving his body, would compare much to the concussion he got at ten, any of the fights he got into in high school or the time he got shot in Iraq. Or even losing his dad at twelve years old.

 

Anyway….

 

Bucky kind of thinks it’s bullshit. Captain America is long dead, and everyone knows it.

 

Everyone but Jessica, who calls him within hours of the story being in the news cycle.

 

Her rant is something like: “Bucky, he’s so hot. He’s so hot, and he’s from Brooklyn, he lived three blocks down from us! We all need to try to hit that.”

 

To which he responds, every single time, “Jess, you’re seventeen, a lesbian, and Rosie is ace. Chris is too young, too, and straight. Only me, Becca and Tyler could try, not that Ty would want to. You know he’s into twinks.”

 

To which she responds, “stop ruining my dreams, Buck!” And then she hangs up.

 

And then Christopher calls. His youngest brother tells him, “Jessica is telling Mom you threatened to kill her future with your dick. Christ, Buck, get me out of this house.”

 

To which Bucky responds, “I had to suffer Becca and Tyler. You can handle Jess and Rosie, Chris.” And then he hangs up.

 

* * *

 

Becca grew up kind of… idolizing Captain America. All the time, she pulled Bucky and Tyler, her partners in crime, into watching documentaries about him and Peggy Carter and Howard Stark. And then Rosie was old enough to get into watching tv, so she was dragged along, and then the twins were pulled in too.

 

So, when the first official interview comes on a month later, Becca forces them all to watch it. Even Ma joins in.

 

There’s Ma’s chair, the loveseat and the couch. Ma’s in her chair, a crossword in hand, while Rosie and Tyler are in the loveseat, and Bucky’s squished between Christopher, Becca and Jessica on the two cushions on the couch.

 

Chris, on his left, is not entirely uninterested, but he’s texting his friends. Bucky’s no snoop - okay, yes he is, but shh - but he can’t help but look over and see that they’re talking about volunteering at an animal shelter. That’s a whole hell of a lot better than what Bucky did at Chris’ age, messing around too much with Darcy, Clint, Matt and drugs.

 

On his other side, Becca is practically vibrating. She’s bouncing up and down, giggling with Jess about Captain America. Rosie says, “he’s probably just a robot, Beck. We all know he’s not the real guy.”

 

Becca immediately set her bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. “How dare you!” She points a finger at Rosie, a long, fake nail threatening the air.

 

Rosie, like Bucky, doesn’t take well to threats, especially ones so obvious as Becca’s nail in the air. She raises an eyebrow and opens her mouth, ready to spit insults, but Ma cuts in.

 

“Kids,” she warns, like it’s the summer of Bucky’s senior year, and they’re all at each other’s throats because they’re too bored to do anything else. As if Bucky isn’t slowly getting a teaching degree to teach science to high school students, as if Becca isn’t working her way up the chain at Google and Tyler isn’t helping people with their sexualities and veterans with their PTSD.

 

Bucky scoffs and rolls his eyes the exact moment Rosie does, and Jessica snorts at them. Of all of his siblings, he’s closest to Becca and Tyler, but most like Rosie. Jess and Becca are more alike, while Chris and Tyler are practically twins in every way except physically. But most of all, they all reflect their parents.

 

Ma raises an eyebrow challengingly. She’s dealt with Bucky’s two tours overseas, Becca’s sexual crisis, Tyler’s sexual crisis, Rosie’s alcoholism, Jessica’s many existential crises and Chris’s rampant insecurities.  She is beyond him. So Bucky, despite almost being thirty years old, immediately stands down. Seeing this, the rest of his siblings do too. It’s always been like that - Bucky leads and they follow and Ma is always going to win.

 

Chris looks up at the ensuing silence, and wonders aloud, “what’s going on?”

 

Tyler smiles gently but hides his teeth, his fake-soft smile as he calls it, and responds, “they’re acting like children. And, they’re just prolonging the time we all spend waiting to watch this interview.” He addresses the last part to his other siblings. Tyler and Chris are the sweethearts of this family, but that’s not to say they can’t be a little snippy.

 

Chris opens his mouth to respond but Becca, immediately more concerned with the tv, shushes everyone loudly. “I swear to god, if I miss a word of this, I will end you.”

 

Ma snorts at her crossword. Becca huffs, but doesn’t say anything.

 

On the tv, the host starts listing all of Captain America’s strengths. Becca grabs his arm and squeezes, and Jess starts hyperventilating. Bucky rolls his eyes.

 

It’s not like this is anything new. And Jess is only copying Becca because Rosie isn’t much of a role model.

 

Anyway, everyone is tuned into the tv now. The music is playing, and Becca says, “he’s coming out now! I wonder if he’s gonna talk about Peggy Carter. Ooh, or Arnie Roth!”

 

Bucky…. Bucky’s hearing is going out. His sight is tunnelling. His blue timer is throbbing.

 

Captain America walks hesitantly onto the screen, and Bucky stops breathing. Bucky looks right at Captain America and just pauses. Bucky… passes out.

 

* * *

 

Becca and Ma are the ones that are sitting at his bedside when he wakes up.

 

His eyes blink open sluggishly, feeling crusty at the edges. He groans, and Becca bolts upright. She glimpses his blue eyes and shrieks, jumping at him. Ma wakes up in the time it takes her to latch her arms around his neck.

 

He blinks at her over Becca’s shoulder. “Oh, Bucky,” she says, and he knows something’s wrong. She never calls him Bucky, unless he’s hurt. The last time he got called Bucky was when the hospital skyped his mom and told her he’d been shot.

 

Becca starts sobbing into the crook of his neck, but he doesn’t realize it, because he’s looking in Ma’s eyes. Ma’s eyes, which are shiny and wide and stressed.

 

“Oh my fucking god, Buck, you saw Captain America and passed out! You hit your head! You… dick!” She sobs. Bucky, unable to help himself, laughs, and maybe it was a little hysterical but it’s whatever.

 

Ma tears up more at the sound and rushes over. She rests her hand on his bicep, and informs, “the doctors are going to let you out soon.” She says it because she knows how much he hates hospitals, how much they remind him of Dad and getting shot. “They say you had a bad reaction to a ‘mate thing.”

 

His throat closes up, not even thinking about being able to leave. He’s heard about these kind of reactions before, but only when…. “Which one’s black?” He tries to come off as indifferent, but his voice cracks.

 

“No, honey, no,” Ma soothes. “That’s not what I meant.”

 

Becca sniffles, and clears her throat. She lets go of his neck and shoulders and sits up slightly. When she speaks, her voice is soft but all-business.“We told them what happened, and the doctors think that your blue is… Captain America. Because,” she says sharply when she sees he’s about to interrupt, “the times on both of yours are the same.”

 

“That doesn’t mean anything, though,” Bucky snaps. “That happens all the time.”

 

Becca gives him the patented “Barnes Look of Doom”. “The whole show, he was messing with his timer. He said he felt faint, like you did when you passed out and hit your head. Not that I would know that, actually, because I didn’t get to see it.”

 

Bucky sighs and closes his eyes. His head is starting to hurt. “You did too. You just didn’t get to livetweet it. And can you please, for the love of all that is holy, not go between sobbing sister and angry sister at me, a man in a hospital bed?”

 

Becca rolls her eyes. “Shut up, Buck. I’ll stop being mean when Captain America gets to see if it’s true.”

 

Bucky pauses. Just, completely and totally pauses. He thinks his heartbeat flat lines for a moment. Ma, on the other hand, just glares at Becca.

 

“What? WHAT?” Bucky - doesn’t screech, exactly, but he comes close. Becca winces.

 

Ma tries for damage control. “Raincloud, you understand that it has to happen.” She pauses, and then whispers, “the time changed on your blue, sweetheart.”

 

Bucky rips his wrist up to his face so face, the IV in his arm twinges painfully. There are loud footsteps down the hall; he has no idea what his heart is doing. The time on his blue is a few days. It’s a few days, it’s a few days.

 

Bucky.... freaks out.

 

* * *

 

By the time Bucky enters the Stark Tower a few days later, only a half hour counting down on his blue, he’s calmed down some. Haha, right. He’s not nervous, or anything.

 

He feels like he may puke.

 

His siblings seem to vary in their opinions, Ty and Jess thinking he should just get it over with and not be nervous at all while Rosie and Chris think it’s cute that he’s so nervous. Becca, on the other hand, has no sympathy, and is texting the girl she met at his birthday party, Danielle, who, according to Becca, is very interested. They’re all worried about his head injury, though, and Ty went so far as to contradict himself and tell him not to go. He goes anyway, though, because he feels like he has to.

 

And Bucky only brings Becca along because she promised she’d come over to his apartment and do his dishes every other day for a month if he let her. He wishes he could withstand her and her bs. He knows she’ll do it a few times, then pull out the excuses. She knows it, too.

 

As it is, he’s ignoring that and trying to lean on her for emotional stability while staying away from her indifference. Because he’s like that, and he needs support from his shit-head little siblings.

 

Of course, since he has actual friends, he also talked to Sam and Nat. Sam told him to calm down, there were only two outcomes: he is or he isn’t. And somehow, that helps. It makes it so Bucky can think about this a little more rationally.

 

Nat, on the other hand, told him she’d be there with him for every step of the way and hung up on him. When he told Becca, she laughed at him, and said, “if I hadn’t already met her, I’d say she was stalking you.”

 

Bucky, in true adult form, had slapped his hands at her like they did when they were kids, to which she immediately retaliated. Of course she did, they’re like responsible teenagers together. It makes him smile, now, calms his nerves a little.

 

He and Beck are sitting in the lobby, getting curious looks from the workers and a death glare from the janitors and receptionists. They don’t sit long before, of all people, Nat comes from the elevator doors.

 

Bucky gapes, taking in her black, skin-tight suit. The last time he saw her face-to-face, her hair had been blonde and straight, down past her shoulders. He’s seen it a myriad of colors, but this one is new. Now it’s red, curly, and just past her ears.

 

Becca pays no mind to the change, and leaps at her, hugging tight with a “Nat!”

 

She hugs the younger woman tight and whispers something that makes Becca laugh. They haven’t seen each other for too long, Bucky thinks.

 

His brain is kind of frying, though. He wonders aloud, “what is up with your hair?”

 

Nat smiles gently, and drags Becca over to him. ”I had to change it for a mission.”

 

His eyebrows raise in acknowledgement. Becca looks between them, confused.

 

“Look, is this some weird ‘mate thing? What are you doing here, Nat?”

 

She pauses, seeming hesitant. Hesitant is a new expression to her face, as far as Bucky is concerned. When she speaks again, her voice is quiet and subdued. “I’m an Avenger.” Becca gasps and Bucky raises an eyebrow. “Steve asked me to come down here and get you guys.”

 

And just like that, Bucky’s heart is going into dangerous-speeds territory.  

 

Nat lays a hand on his shoulder. “He’s just as nervous as you are, James.”

 

Bucky scoffs. “I highly doubt that, Miss Avenger. What happened to being a government agent?”

 

She catches his meaning, and purses her lip, ignoring his question. “I’m not lying, _моя звезда_. I swear. The last time I lied to you, it cost a life. I won’t lie again, especially about something like this.”

 

Becca looks between them, confused.

 

Bucky, though, smiles at the term of endearment she’s called him since they met when he was first coming out of high school. “Tell me more.”

 

“He was informed of the situation as ‘there’s a guy in the hospital with your time on a blue, and he’s in on soulmate related conditions, hurt himself watching your interview’. Not a great way to be told, especially for him.” She exhales through her nose. “He’s been kind of out of his mind, waiting for this meeting, and now Tony is giving him some help in how to go about this.”

 

“Tony Stark?” Becca asks, almost casually disinterested. She can’t manage it, though, because she doesn’t like him.

 

Tony Stark had met them before, when he was still trying to get Bucky to work for his new Veterans Affairs department of SI. Tony had leered at her, Bucky had flatly refused about a billion times, and Ty had almost died when Tony instead employed him.

 

Bucky doesn’t hate the guy, but he doesn’t like him much, either.

 

Nat nods slowly, picking up on the siblings’ matching half-frowns. “Yeah, Tony Stark. But don’t worry, Steve’s not going to listen to anything he says.”

 

Becca’s face stays the same while Bucky feels his nose scrunch up. Just the reminder of actually meeting Captain America makes him cringe. And god, he should probably call him Steve, shouldn’t he?

 

Nat, who’s always been great at reading him, smiles. “Stop it, _моя звезда_. All that’s going to happen is that we’ll go up there and you’ll meet everyone and it’ll be awkward until someone’s timer goes off. Alright? Not too bad.”

 

Bucky raises an eyebrow, mouthing not too bad? just to piss her off. Her eyes narrow, and Becca cuts in.

 

She giggles sharply, saying, “Buck, _do not get into a fight with an Avenger_!” Then she tugs on his arm, and drags him toward the elevator Natasha had come out of. Nat follows behind, and when he turns around to give her a pleading look, she sticks her tongue out at him.

 

She pushes him into the elevator once the doors open, squishing him between Nat and Beck. The redhead pushes a button with no number, then pushes one with A1 on it. He doesn’t pretend to know what she’s doing.

 

The doors close, the elevator shoots up, and he feels an old panic welling up in his throat. Becca pushes her hand through his hair, scratching her nails on his scalp. He rests his chin on his chest and takes deep breaths.

 

Natasha watches, a sympathetic look in her eyes. From what she’s told him of her past, she was taught to kill her soulmates when she met them, and was often subjected to groups of people whose timers went off when she looked them in the eye.

 

Bucky knows only one timer will go off, since his orange still has a few years and his blue has about a minute. You have to look your ‘mate in the eye and then your timer goes off, so it can’t go off and his ‘mate not be in the room.

 

The elevator stops going up and he jerks. Becca rests her hand on the small of his back and Nat turns her back to the closed doors, looking at them.

 

She instructs, “I’m going to introduce you, and they’ll meet your eyes and I’ll introduce them. If you need to tap out, just say so. Your comfort is the most important thing here.” She pauses, “and just so you know, everyone is nervous.”

 

Then the doors open, and Tony Stark is peering over Nat’s shoulder. “Hiiiiiiii, Bucky! Becca, you too? All for little ol’ me?” He sings.

 

Becca clenches her jaw and says, “no, I’m trying to get my brother some dick, not some dickhead.”

 

Tony throws his head back and laughs. He pokes at Natasha, who’s still standing between them. She doesn’t move. “Natty, move. I wanna see the new extra!”

 

“Extra?” A voice shouts, sounding distinctly female. “I am not an extra, Tony!”

 

Bucky nods, “neither am I.” Seeing Tony is bringing back the muted annoyance he always feels around the older man, and flushing out some of the panic.

 

Tony raises an eyebrow suggestively. “nothing wrong with being an extra here, Barnes. You get to know lots of people who are better than you, and there’s always pop tarts….”

 

Becca huffs, and Bucky rolls his eyes. Nat jokes, “I’m sure their spank banks are fine, Tony. Please move.”

 

Tony, reluctantly, goes off to one side, allowing Natasha to move past him. And….

 

Steve Rogers stands there, someone who can only be Thor standing next to him. Bucky’s eyes meet his and the telltale beep hits the air.

 

Becca shrieks again, and rushes past Nat and Bucky to get to Steve. His eyes are comically wide and he steps back, looking startled.

 

“Sorry, sorry, but oh my god, you’re my brother’s ‘mate! This is - “

 

Nat pulls her away, giving Steve a look. She pushes him toward a door that Bucky can see doesn’t close, like a swinging door. He goes along willingly.

 

She turns to look at Bucky and gestures that he follow Steve. He obeys immediately, knowing her well enough now that if he doesn’t she’ll sic something awful on him.

 

Bucky stares at the ground as he moves toward the door, avoiding the eyes of the Avengers and the so-called “extras”.

 

He stops outside the door, takes a deep breath and stands at attention. Then he pushes the door open.

 

He sees that it’s a kitchen with his first step in, and also notices that the blenders, toasters and even the dishrack are clean and new. He can tell they’ve been used, but there’s a degree of rich people quality that takes over it.

 

And he also sees that Steve Rogers is feeling awkward, the lines of his body tense and his shoulders hiked up.

 

“Uh, hi? I’m Bucky,” he says, making himself small.

 

Steve reaches out a hand, and Bucky takes it and shakes. “I’m Steve, but, uh, I’m sure you already know that.”

 

Bucky smiles and nods. He’s channeling Tyler and Chris and also Rosie, a little bit, because those three know how to make people feel more comfortable. Steve really needs to feel more comfortable, and Bucky does, too.

 

“Uh,” he swallows. “Yeah, I do. My sister, Becca - the girl out there - she’s a big fan.” He exhales and drags a hand through his hair, calming himself. “Hmm. I guess - well, okay, um. I don’t, uh, expect anything out of this. We can take this at your pace, and that’s fine by me because I’m kind of fucked up - and I just cussed in front of you, wow, great first impression….”

 

Steve cracks a smile. “I’d say it’s okay to fucking cuss, Bucky. Not like it’s anything new.”

 

Bucky grins back. “Yeah, duh. You’re army, too. I should’ve known better.” He stuffs his hands in his pocket. “I - I get that you’re probably still grieving hard-core right now. So, I’m thinking we should take this slow.”

 

Steve nods, and opens and closes his mouth a few times before offering, “uh, would you like to get lunch sometime? I mean, as friends first, I’m not ready to just, uh, jump into this - “

 

Bucky waves a hand around, “no, no, I mean, yeah, that sounds great. When?” _God_ , he thinks, _my game died in Afghanistan_.

 

“Uh, Wednesday at noon? Or Saturday, if you have work?”

 

“Saturday is better. I have school on Wednesday. And could we do it here? Would that be okay?” Feeling unusually shy, he ducks his head.

 

Steve nods. “That would be best. My fans, a lot are even more aggressive than your sister.”

 

Bucky laughs, picturing a modern beatlemania and Steve running away from droves of teenagers. Steve smiles at him, a little hesitantly.

 

“It’s a date, then?”

 

“It’s a date.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hate the way this ended and I hate the convo they had but not enough to not post this lmao.
> 
> Notes:  
> \- Bucky served two tours  
> \- the orange timer is for a kid they have in the future  
> \- моя звезда/moya zvezda means "my star" according to google translate which we all know is shit


End file.
